Screwed
by Knight of Eons
Summary: Summary inside with story! Enjoy!(Uploaded this at school!) Flame if you want, I'll just pee them out. T rated for now...


Chapter 1

A letter from Cousin Jan

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Tom and Jerry. I just own Jerry's cousin Jan.

**Also:** Tom and Jerry and the other characters used will be anthros in this story. So that mean they will talk, wear clothes, drive, and such.

**Summary:** Jerry's cousin Jan comes to stay with him when she get's in trouble back home with her parents. When she arrives, she falls for a certain Tom Kat, her cousin Jerry's best friend. But Jerry doesn't approve of it...

How will our favorite tom react to this strange mouse moving in on him?

Tom: Hey! Don't I have a say in this?

Me: No dude, you don't.

Tom: But-

Jan: He said you don't have a say in it! Shut it up, suck it up and pucker up!

Tom: Wait!*Gets jumped and kissed by Jan* MMPPHH!

Jerry: Hey! But I get a say in this, right? Right?

Me: Nope!

Spike: Where do I come in?

Me: Later.

Spike: But-

Jan*Holding down Tom, with a roll of duct tape held in her teeth*: Shut up! I'm trying to bind and gag someone here!

Spike: But I-

Me: LATER DAMMIT!

Enjoy!

Jerry was idly reading his favorite book, The adventures of Montague Mouse: Venture to the Bottom of the Sea, when he heard a knocking at his front door. Placing a book mark on the page, he closed the book and got up from his bed with a stretch, his thin brown tail curling slightly as he stretched his back.

"Who could it be this early in the morning?", He said with a yawn as he checked his clock over his door, which read 6:48 A.M.

Walking to the door he scratched his head of brown hair as he checked who it was through the peephole. When he realized who it was his jaw dropped from shock, "Jan?", What was his cousin doing here?

'Oh, God!', He thought, 'What did she do this time?'.

On the other side of the door was a female brown mouse with her air cut in a short bob with her mouse ears sticking ut to the sides slightly from impatience that was clearly seen on her face. "H-hey, cousin! Would it be t-too much to open the door and let me in? It's freaking c-c-cold out h-here!", He could see her shaking slightly and understood why. She was from Storm City, Florida, just south of Miami so she wasn't as used to colder temperature's as he was, especially not this early in the morning. It was only 63.3* F**(1)**, though.

"Okay give me a second.", He called through the door as he turned and got a shirt on before opening the door, feeling the light breeze hit him. The sight that greeted him was beyond shocking.

It was mortifying.

There in front of him was his cousin Janette wearing a yellow tank top that showed off most of her flat stomach. It was accompanied by a pair of dangerously low jean pants that hugged her legs and stopped just a bit below her knees. She was also wearing a pair of brown and yellow sneakers. Her tail was wrapped around her left leg to try and stay warm as she shook from the cold.

Behind her was a small hill of luggage, most of it taller than she was, even if she was rather short for sixteen. And mice weren't know much for their height, aside from the term diminutive, compact, minai-Well you get the point.

"Hey J-J-Jerry!", She said as she grinned, her teeth chattering audibly, "Do yo-u have any spare blank-k-kets, by any chance? I can't feel my e-ears.", As if to add to how badly cod she was, her breath was visible as a dissipating puff of chilled vapors.

...

Jerry looked at his cousin and sighed, she was currently sitting on the edge of the couch-bed he had pulled out with a warm blanket wrapped tightly around her and a cup of hot chocolate in her hands as well as her feet in a pot of warm-to-the-point-of-steaming water. She truly wasn't used to cold weather, despite it already being winter. Luckily she had gotten here several days before the first snow fell, or else she'd be a Frosted Cousin Jan.

Turning back to the letter in his hand he began to read...

_Dear Jerry,_

_Jan has got herself into trouble again and we are sending her to you until she learns to be responsible...Or until she can behave herself before Christmas._

_With love, hope, and support_

_-Uncle Luis, Aunt Beth, Uncle Mike, Aunt Nicole, Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Cousins Mitchell, Eric, Lexus, Naomi, Andy, Speedy, Slowpoke, Remy, Mickey & Mini, Uncle Bartholomew and The Rest of the Nest  
_

_P.S- We tried. We really did, but the girl has only ever listened to you. Good Luck!_

_P.S.S- Speedy dropped her off. That's why she got there before the letter would have. Sorry..._

With a face palm, Jerry mentally noted to not get anyone anything other than a card for their next few birthdays and Christmases.

Turning back to Jan, he set the letter down, "Jan, How did you manage to get sent here in the first place? You didn't steal another Police car, did you?", He asked, hoping that the answer was a negative.

"Of course not.", She said as she stopped sipping her hot chocolate.

'Thank God!', He thought as he felt the tension leave his shoulders.

"Besides, Golf Carts are in favor nowadays.", And the tension was back again.

Face palming himself, he took a deep calming breath, "Jan...".

"No, that's not why I got sent here, but I did steal one.", She said as she took another sip, "Dumbest thing ever. You ever tried to out speed a cop car on one of those?", She looked to Jerry only to see him giving her a 'You can't be serious!' look, "Weeeellll, those crappy things only go one type of speed. Slow n' Screwed.", She said, giggling as the memory of her trying to floor a Golf Cart popped up in her head.

"Jan, everyone knows that... But what did you do to get sent here?", He said finally looking somewhat interested in her story.

"Well, you see, it kinda, I dunno, maybe, sorta...-!", She spoke the last part so fast it literally sounded like a simple squeaking sound to him.

"What?", He said as his ears twitched from the pitch.

"I...Got caught breaking into school with some friends one night but took all the blame.", She said, ears lowering as she waited for the scolding to begin.

It didn't come.

She waited for twenty seconds to hear the scolding begin. It never did.

She looked up to see Jerry about to speak when they were interrupted by a knock at the back door of Jerry's house that connected to the main portion of the house that was shared between his other house mates who she hadn't met yet, "Hey Jerr, you alive in there?", Came the voice of a young male as the knocking persisted.

With a sigh Jerry marched over to door and before he could reach it, it opened and a head popped in, revealing a black haired, gray furred tom with vibrant green eyes and white fur from the nose down to his chest, "Hey Jerry, sorry to interrupt but I need to borrow your bike. My cars on the fritz again and I-", He stopped as he took in the sight of Jerry in a plain white-T and yellow pajama pants with another mouse, a FEMALE mouse sitting n the bed wrapped up in a blanket and looking exhausted. Because Jerry was standing between them he didn't see her feet in the pot of water and assumed a completely different situation was taking place.

"Oops! My bad Jerry! You could've said no. Next time lock your doors! And you ever heard of the sock on the knob thing? It prevents trauma dude.", He said quickly as he pulled his head out and went to close the door.

"What?", Jerry said as he looked to Jan, and processed everything Tom had just said..."AH! No, Tom, wait! It's not what you think!", Jerry said as he ran to the door and saw Tom about to walk away.

"It's okay dude. It's normal. You bring a girl home, I don't ask questions, that's the house mate rule. Sorry to bother yo-"

"No you don't understand! She's my cousin!", Jerry said only to realize he hadn't been specific enough to Tom who turned to him quickly with wide eyes, "No! She's just staying here for a while 'cause she's in trouble back home! That's it! NOTHING ELSE!", He said as he gestured to the still confused Jan, who hadn't yet gotten up from the far-too-comfy bed.

"Oh...", Tom said as some of the color returned to his face, with an extra bit of blush, "Well you should have just said that in the first place! It's nice to meet you, little miss...?", He said as he strolled into the smaller housing unit(Having to crouch slightly to avoid banging his forehead against the support beams... Again.) and offered his larger, more noticeably clawed hands, bowing lightly to the brunette with his tail arched out behind him.

Jan regarded Tom with a bit of suspicion: Her parents always, ALWAYS, warned her about boys and cats. Rarely did they ever bring up the subject of a boy cat who were, ironically enough, nicknamed toms.

Boys were likely to imitate mini skirts and creep up her legs, cats were likely to do other less than mentionable things to her. And she was short by Mouse Standards, now that said a lot. She could fit into one of her suit cases if she wanted.

Back home, cat and mouse relations were at that point where there was a safe zone, meaning anywhere where the pizza got to your house five minutes after you call. And then there was the danger zone, where the worst pizza delivers got to your house before the police could receive your call. Needless to say, she was raised in the safe zone and only went to the Danger Zone around twelve in the afternoon because it had the best Pizza/burger joints in it's malls.

This Tom didn't look half as threatening as the cats back home, wearing only a pair of faded skinny jeans that weren't too tight and a plain white-T under a grey thermal vest(with the stuffed bundles that showed of his streamline though muscular arms). His tail was hanging out over the edge of his pants which also allowed her to see his blue boxer briefs. Thankfully, she couldn't see the majority of his underwear and or butt, just the waist band and a bit of area beneath that.

"Mouse, Janette Mouse.", She said as she shook his hand, noticing that it nearly consumed hers. The thought of the size of his hands made her cheeks flush slightly but her fur hid it well enough. She'd momentarily had a thought of those hands on her body, which sent her heart thundering. Hopefully her blush was hidden under her fur, or they mistook it for a symptom of being in the cold too long.

"Nice to meet you, Janette. I hope you make your self at home here at la casa de Hell!", He said before strolling out the door, "So Jerry, is that a yes or no about me using your bike?", He asked as he was about to close the door.

"Go ahead, just watch out for glass this time.", Jerry said exasperatedly, remembering the last time Tom used his bike. He swears to this day that Tom drove the bike through a mile of broken glass.

How Tom would be able to achieve this feat he had no idea, but he really didn't want to know.

"Thanks bud! And I promise to watch where I'm going half the time!"

"Whatever.", And with that the tom was gone, leaving the two distant cousins to each others company.

"Well... That was interesting.", Jan said, casting a glance down at her hot chocolate. It was no longer hot or warm and she could see that the cocoa mix was almost separating from the water.

"That was Tom, my housemate. Don't worry, he's as soft as cotton and as thick as a brick. He won't bother you while you're here...I hope.", Jerry muttered the last part, remember how Tom could fall for a girl like a brick would fall to the ground. He mentally prayed that Tom only liked feline women.

Then again, Jerry himself had fallen for many a feline fem fatal...

Shaking himself of the thought, Jerry turned to Jan and gestured her to follow him as he went to open the door to his guest room, "Come on, Jan. You can put your stuff here. In the meantime, you never explained how or why you were breaking into school in the first place.", he said as he raised an eyebrow at her.

'Crap!', Jan thought as she reluctantly followed her cousin, 'Just when I thought I was home free he hits me with the ole' Boomerang-Maneuver!'.

This was going to be a long wait till Christmas...

A/N: Yeah so... I went to the Tom and Jerry Archive but I saw all the yaoi... I can't get it out of my brain now... So I decided to block it with this here little story of awkward forbidden love... 'Cause best friends just love the idea of their best friend dating a relative.

(1) I live in Florida and have lived a major portion of my life in Miami(305! For life!), and any temp below 72 makes me suceptible to head colds, running nose, and a case of "Idon'twanttogoschool'causeofthedamncoldsofuckoff" .

(Uploaded at school! Mwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!)*Passes out from oxygen deprivation*


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